ResidentFVCKING: Fun
by Lux-9
Summary: Replacing Resi characters w/ other Resi characters in OTHER Resi games- Fun!  n.n Question is; Was I high when I started this? ABSOLUTELY YES! The BIGGER question is; ARE YOU PREPARED? R&R.
1. T1

**A/N:** Hai all. Gosh, this is the first fanfic I ever wrote about Resi.. but, oh well, I had this story in mind that day(while I was reflecting...intheshower...I WAS LIKE! HEY! THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK OUT!) and I figured it'd be about time I start it out, y'know...

I think I've got it covered, though, what with my being a Resident Evil fanatic since I was a wee kiddy cat.

OHHEY! Speaking of, OMFGGG! Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City is going to be a KILLER! I mean, that Vector... SOFVCKINGCOOL.  
>Hmph.. Did you notice that they're practically all psychopaths? The U.S.S, I mean... I guess that's more the reason to love 'em! ^o^ ...Right?..Right? o:<p>

Anywaaayyy!~ -.- Let me give a brief, and oh-so-boaring, explanation of how the "system" of the story is going to work...

I'm going to replace characters u_u ...WITH other Resident Evil characters...

ISN'T THAT FUN? \(^0^)/ (!) . . .

***clears throat*** v_v

I might also take requests from you guys-IF YOU WANT!

x"3 Alright, huns.

**R E A D !~ **

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Capcom! GO-GO! ^O^#

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><p><em>Testing...<em>

_Testing..._

_Testing..._

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><p><strong>*cough<strong>* ***cough*** !

( -.-) Replacement Test **no.1**

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><p><strong>:- Resident Evil 0 -:<strong>

**[Replacing Rebecca Chambers W/ Jill Valentine]**

**{SCENE: **….erm, corpse inspection? – Meeting** Lt. Billy Coen}**

The 23 year old S.T.A.R.S blinked at catching a glance of a cornered corpse of a former officer- his back resting comfortably against the wall behind him.

The brunette turned to face the corpse fully, and placed a delicate finger on her chin- _What an awkward dying position..._

She knelt closely across from him- inspecting him for any zombie bites.

And bingo, it is. Zombie bites.

She nodded to herself- her observation skills were improving, if only their S.T.A.R.S Captain was the "I actually give a good shit!" type, he would promote her- _Definitely!_

Captain Wesker overworked them like dogs!

Especially Chris!

_Poor Chris..._ She placed a hand on her chest as she parted her lips- concerned about her partner.

It was then that thoughts of her partner overtook her, and she willingly allowed her mind to wander to Chris Redfield.

A dreamy sigh escaped her and she smiled.

In fact, she was so lost in thought, that she'd completely neglected the shadow that stretched before her.

And it wasn't the corpse's.

It wasn't her's.

_Oh God..._

She looked over her shoulder and inhaled- A gun was aimed to her forehead.

But more than that...

The wielder of the gun was that murderer! Billy Coen.

Immediately, she knotted her eyebrows angrily and stood up.

"Billy Coen. You're under arrest!" Was strangely, all that escaped her lips in her usually resolved and calm voice.

The convict scoffed, then grinned- eying Jill up and down.

He pulled his revolver back; "Sorry, doll. But I've already worn handcuffs~"

However, as he turned around, Jill grit her teeth; "Hey!"

He ignored her and proceeded to walk away.

Thinking quickly, she let out a cry before she tackled him to the ground.

Billy peeled his eyes open; "What the-"

As he fidgeted beneath her...

Quite awkward to speak of.

"Get offa-"

***TASE***

He shot his eyes open- _The bitch tased me!_

Quickly, kneeing his back, the woman fished out a pair of newer handcuffs and handcuffed his wrists; "There..." She breathed victoriously.

Standing up, she let out a gasp of air, and folded a lock of hair behind her ear.

Billy fidgeted due to the shock- his eyes threatening to shut themselves.

Smiling, Jill dusted her shirt off of whatever, and unpocketed her radio- _Catching Billy Coen... This should really take a load off of everybody's shoulders, and Wesker might stop being an ass...MIGHT._

"Barry! You'll never believe who I just caught! That murderer, Billy Coen!"

Jill could hear Barry's surprised breathing through the other line, as he immediately frightened her with a; **"WHAT?"** - causing her to jump and place a hand on her chest to regain her resolve.

"OH MY COD..." He continued.

"Yes, yes, Barry, I know..." Her quickened heartbeat due to Barry's response slowly began to slow down, and she secretly began to wish she hadn't contacted him.

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><p><strong>AN:** Well,.. How's that for a grand first impression? Good? AWESUM? Oh, I'm boasting and I know it!~ n.n

u_u I always wondered what Jill would do if she were in Becky's shoes... AND I WAS SO FULLY CONVINCED THAT SHE WOULD CATCH HIM!

Oh, and I love Barry.

D: What? I seriously do.

**R E V I E W !~ **


	2. T2

**A/N:** Ugh. My heavenly breakfast is here, and I would feel...SOSO rude if I were to neglect it...

In other words, there'snothingtodiscuss.

**R E A D !~** ^O^

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Capcom! GO-GO! ^O^#

* * *

><p><em>Testing...<em>

_Testing..._

_Testing..._

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><p>t(*A*t) Replacement Test <strong>no.2<strong>

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><p><strong>:- Resident Evil 2 -:<strong>

**[Replacing Leon S. Kennedy W/ Barry Burton]**

**{SCENE: **The very beginning... "After the crash"**}**

The auburn haired 19 year old let out a groan and massaged her forehead.

That zombie almost got a bite of them...

_Barry sure knows how to drive..._ She thought to herself- shaking her head.

Barry let out a deep sigh and leaned back against his seat- relieved.

He looked to his right- at Claire, and snorted.

"That was too close!" He put a tough hand out- doing gestures in exclamation; "A second wrong U-Turn, we would have surely been zombie chow!"

He laughed at his own witty humor, while Claire just rolled her eyes and smiled; "Right."

Looking ahead, she peeled her eyes open and gasped as an incoming truck being driven by a...zombie!, and was headed their way.

Barry shot his eyes open and leaned in; "WHAT?"

Claire began unbuckling the seat-belt.

"Zombies aren't supposed to drive! Its illegal!" He looked at Claire casually and scowled.

The 19 year old Redfield looked at him like he was some kind of madman, and opened up his own seat belt for him all too quickly.

"Jump!" She cried out after jumping.

Obligingly, Barry jumped just in time to evade a, rather...unfortunate accident.

There were flames...

There were zombies shambling towards him...

But surely enough, he'd survived.

Lucky bugger...

He stood, and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

_Oh, that's right!_ "CLAIRE!" He called out loudly- even the zombies winced and bumped into each other.

From the other side, a moan of pain escaped the redhead, and she slowly pushed herself off the ground.

"I'm alright..." She mumbled.

"WHAT?" Came louder from the other side.

She tightened her eyes shut, and bit her lower lip- restraining herself from letting slip a few choice words.

"I'M

ALL

RIGHT!" She yelled back- thankfully loud enough to reach his hearing.

Barry let out a; "Pshoo" of relief and flexed his shoulders.

He chuckled; "THAT WAS TOO CLOSE!"

"I WAS ALMOST A BARRY SANDWICH!"

As he continued roaring in laughter from the other side, Claire gave an unimpressed look and stood up- _How the hell did Chris stand to best friend this lunatic is clearly beyond me..._

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><p><strong>AN:** Ya Gotta love ol'BEARZ!~ -.-

**R E V I E W !~**


	3. T3

**A/N:** Hai again. Third chapter. Aren't I grand?

Enuff scowling!

Go

**R E A D !~** (Yes. I did that on purpose! u-u)

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Capcom! GO-GO! ^O^#

* * *

><p><em>Testing...<em>

_Testing..._

_Testing..._

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><p>~(^.^~) Replacement Test <strong>no.3<strong>

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><p><strong>:- Resident Evil: Code Veronica -:<strong>

[**Replacing Claire Redfield W/ Jack Krauser]**

**{SCENE: Steve Burnside** and his "Daddy's blues"...**}**

The 17 year old kid let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the next room- following the older soldier.

"Phew. Glad that's over with! Where do those things come from, anyway?" Steve retorted- hoping to start conversation with the scarred man.

Of course, as he predicted, he was ignored by Jack, whom went into examining at a nearby desk- his snake knife held professionally in his hand.

Jack Krauser wasn't much of a conversationalist.

At least, not with Steve.

Or,

_Maybe he just doesn't like me..._ Thought the youthful man- Which is true,...sadly.

Ever since they first met when Steve shot at him- thinking he was one of those "monsters" which later on offended the highly trained soldier, and held him at gunpoint if they weren't..."interrupted".

Anyway, the point is...

Krauser doesn't like Steve- More like hate, to be precise...

The blonde picked up a journal and flipped it to a page- reading notes between the lines.

"Heyy.. Whatcha reading there?"

The soldier paused and growled.

And to Steve, it sounded more frightening than a Cerberus.

He meekly swallowed a lump in his throat and waved a hand out idly- _Nevermind..._

Krauser flipped through the pages and let out a; "hmm..." Upon reading some further crap about the Ashford family.

He had to suppress a yawn.

Steve had to whistle.

Krauser grit his teeth, and his large hands shook as he tried his hardest to contain his anger- _I'm gonna kill that damn kid!_

Steve stopped whistling.

The blonde scoffed loudly- _That's what I thought..._

Flipping through other pages and feigning the "I'm busying myself like a boss" attitude, he stopped.

_Steve really quieted down, eh?_

_Or did he leave?_

Inwardly, Krauser hoped on the latter.

He heard faint ghostly shambling from behind him.

He heard moans- and NOT sexual moans.

His eyes traveled to his trusty knife and focused his gaze on what followed their direction.

His hand clutched the knife tighter, and he waited for the perfect moment.

Because knowing that queer yank, he'll definitely have Krauser do all the dirty work.

Steve's feet were nailed to the ground, and his eyes were peeled open.

A zombie had approached them, and surely enough, it was his father.

There's no mistaking it! Its really him!

His features hadn't changed all that.

Actually, comparing him to the picture in his wallet, the only thing that changed is the eyes- whom turned deathly cloudy.

Yup. His dad was one ugly sonova bitch.

Glad he didn't take after him...

Anyway, moving back to what's happening...

His dad, in his zombified state, shambled all the way to Krauser, whom was seemingly busy reading.

Steve oughta help him, but..

His hands felt heavy, and he couldn't bring himself to lift up his twin guns and shoot at his father.

Regardless of how ugly he'd become.

As the zombie was one step closer to Krauser, Steve parted his lips to warn him, but...

Steve gasped as the soldier skillfully whirled around- now standing behind the zombie.

He grabbed him by the neck.

And the 17 year old's heart was aching, and as he yelled; "Krauser!"

The man shoved his entire snake's knife all the way to his dad's throat.

…

Steve's jaw dropped, and his hand automatically slapped his own cheek.

His eyes wide like hot cakes.

Krauser let out a grunt as the zombie continued fidgeting- which caused him to pierce his b;ade tighter into its neck.

_There..._

The zombie died.

As it fell flat on its face, Krauser, completely neglecting Steve's river of tears, spat on the zombie corpse before walking ahead; "Let's go!"

Sniffling, Steve wiped at his tears; "You...animal...!"

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><p><strong>AN:** ...***shrugs*** Time to submit the story~ *A*

**R E V I E W !~**

**PS.** Does the "testing..." make me sound like an even smarter virtual whore? Yep. That's the idea! D;

**PPS.** Gonna try updating weekly... Until then, got any..."requests"?~ ^.^


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